Food, History, Security

St. Louis voted best tasting tap water

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What’s the name of that guy in Dr. Strangelove with the obsession about rainwater? General Jack D. Ripper?

A station in St. Louis, KWMU, has alerted America to a water quality and anti-bottle campaign called “Think Outside the Bottle”. No, this is not just a marketing campaign for babies:

“It’s really a great idea on a few fronts: one, it’s saving taxpayer dollars; two, we have the best-tasting water in the country, and we’re encouraging our city employees, city citizens and citizens from around the region and visitors to use our tap water,” [St. Louis mayor’s environmental aide] Embree said.

During the 2007 U.S. Conference of Mayors St. Louis’ tap water was voted the best tasting.

They forgot to mention the war on terror. What modern politician could forget the war on terror as a reason to take action? Save the environment? Save taxpayer dollars? Do it for the taste or your health? What kind of Communists, oops I mean terrorists, are we dealing with here? Ol’ Ripper said it like this:

A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works.

Today it would be terrorists. Those terrorist bottle companies leeching foreign substances…someone needs to launch an air-strike and protect America from “the most monstrously conceived and dangerous [terrorist] plot we have ever had to face”.

Wait, isn’t there already a Homeland Security alert on bottles?

Security

ID Ten Seven errors

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More from the humor department. This was just sent to me:

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called the 11-year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

He clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?

He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but I had to ask, ‘An, ID ten T error? Can you explain that to me in case I need to fix it again?’

He smiled…. You haven’t heard of an ID ten T error before?’

‘No,’ I replied.

‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T …

Har har. Wikipedia suggests this actually comes from adult Naval parlance.

I like the ID ten seven format better (ID107), or even ID hundred seven.

I remember those problems being termed layer 8 of the OSI model or PEBKAC errors — when a problem exists between keyboard and chair — both mentioned by Wikipedia.

Surely someone can come up with something new already, no?

Security

Onion Guide to Risk Management

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It is no laughing matter, but The Onion does its best to make fun of risk management. They do an amazingly thorough job pulling up the best habits of reporters in the mainstream press — drama, statistics as well as potential remedies are duly noted:

In addition to increasing public awareness of deaths caused by falling down a laundry chute and severing the spinal cord, Baron suggested several direct precautionary measures. These include keeping a hamper full of extra pillows at the bottom of laundry chutes at all times, placing large, easy-to-read warning placards around chute openings, and moving to a house without a laundry chute.

“Until someone comes up with a safer means of conveying dirty laundry from the top floor of a house to its basement, this is the reality we have to live with,” Baron said.

Cute. Watch out FOX News, The Onion is cutting in on your territory here.

I can’t wait for the book.

Energy, Security

Iraq and Western oil companies in discussions

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The Washington Post story on the state of Iraqi oil has an interesting pair of paragraphs:

A higher-profile role for Western companies in Iraq’s oil industry is likely to revive speculation that the Iraq war was motivated by a desire to tap into reserves that were controlled by foreigners until the 1960s, when the industry was nationalized. The belief is widespread in the Arab world.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on Thursday said the U.S. government played no role in securing the deals. She called the impending contracts a sign that security gains are attracting foreign investment in Iraq.

If I read that correctly, Rice is speaking out of both sides of her mouth at the same time. Impressive. US security gains are attracting deals, while deals are not attracted by US security gains. In other words, better security is not required for developments that require better security, and therefore better security should be given credit while it has nothing to do with progress. Good luck easing concerns with that reasoning. She should have just said “the U.S. government played no role in security gains”.