Leave it to The Onion – America’s Finest News Source to bring you the latest developments in gun culture:
Florida legislators passed a bill allowing citizens to bring their guns to work. Here are some of the other pro-gun laws enacted recently.
Alaska—Members of endangered species now permitted to carry concealed firearms for self-protection Louisiana—Now legal for residents to shoot at hurricanes
Minnesota—Any resident may fire a single shot every five years, or when Vikings win
Idaho—You can have a gun, or a grenade, but not both
Virginia—Non-gun-owning residents must apply for a permit to not own and operate a firearm Gun
New York—Guest stars on Law & Order may bring their own guns to the set
Kansas—Children as young as 8 can bring guns to school on the condition that there’s no funny business
Texas—That huge cattle gun used by Javier Bardem’s character in No Country For Old Men now legally available at Fiesta Mart grocery stores
Hard to pick a favorite. The commentary on Minnesota sports is a low blow, but I think the Virginia joke takes the cake. The only thing better would have been if they had been able to work in a term like “whitelist” or “macaque”.