Category Archives: Security

Where’s Ed: Anthropic Told Court $5 Billion but Public $19 Billion

Ed Zitron just published two pieces on Where’s Ed: “The Beginning of History” (March 10) and “Why Are We Still Doing This?” (March 17).

They land a clean hit on Anthropic’s hallucinations in financial storytelling. The math is simple enough that it can’t be denied. Let me show you how.

What Anthropic Told the Court

Anthropic’s Chief Financial Officer Krishna Rao filed an affidavit on March 9, meaning he swore it was true, in their lawsuit against the Department of Defense. It stated that Anthropic’s total revenue “to date” was “exceeding $5 billion.” That’s all the money Anthropic has ever made, from its founding day through March 9, 2026.

What Anthropic Told Everyone Else

Throughout 2025 and into 2026, Anthropic repeatedly announced its “annualized revenue”, which doesn’t match the affidavit.

Say you run a lemonade stand. In July, you sell $10 worth of lemonade. Someone asks how your business is doing. Instead of saying “I made ten dollars, that is true,” you say: “I have a $120-a-year pace no doubt!” That’s annualized revenue. You take one month of actual money, multiply by twelve prediction months, and report the biggest number you can.

Here are the annualized revenue figures Zitron compiled from Anthropic’s own announcements and press coverage, with sources:

Date Annualized Revenue Implied Monthly Revenue
January 2025 $1 billion $83 million
March 11, 2025 $1.4 billion $117 million
March 30, 2025 $2 billion $167 million
May 30, 2025 $3 billion $250 million
July 1, 2025 $4 billion $333 million
July 31, 2025 $5 billion $417 million
October 2025 $7 billion $583 million
December 2025 $9 billion $750 million
February 12, 2026 $14 billion $1.17 billion
March 3, 2026 $19 billion $1.58 billion

The right column is the story. If annualized revenue means “this month times twelve,” then dividing by twelve gives you what they actually made each month.

The Addition

Now when we add up the monthly revenues we see a problem. This is where Where’s Ed earns his keep. Anthropic told the world at ten different points how much it grew. Each implies starting from an actual monthly number. Add them up, estimate the gaps between announcements, and you get a total.

Zitron’s figure: roughly $6.66 billion in implied cumulative revenue through early March 2026.

The CFO’s sworn figure: “exceeding $5 billion.”

Those numbers are not a match.

Ten reports across fourteen months, each covering a distinct measurement period. Zitron’s gap-period estimates are even conservative for the uncovered stretches between reports. He uses the lower ARR figure rather than interpolating upward. The $6.66 billion is a floor way higher than $5 billion, not a ceiling.

The Speedometer and the Odometer

You don’t even need the full table to see the problem. Just take the last four months. December 2025 through early March 2026, using Anthropic’s own ARR figures, implies roughly $4.25 billion in revenue ($750M + $750M + $1.17B + $1.58B). That would have to mean everything before December 2025, which would be the entire prior history of the company, produced less than $750 million. Look at the table again. That’s impossible.

Think of ARR like a speedometer. It reports how fast you’re going right now. Total revenue is your odometer. It tells you how far you’ve actually traveled.

If the speedometer says you’ve been doing 100 miles per hour for the last hour, but the odometer says you’ve only gone 40 miles, the speedometer is lying. Or more precisely: when you hit 100 for a split second you reported it as your cruising speed.

Rao’s low revenue word choice matters here. He said “exceeding $5 billion” and not “nearly $6 billion,” not “approaching $6 billion.”

In a filing where Anthropic was trying to impress a federal court with its commercial scale, Rao is expected to use the biggest number he can. “Exceeding $5 billion” tells you his real figure is much closer to $5 billion than to $6.

That puts overstatement implied by the ARR figures somewhere around 25–35%!

Which Anthropic Do You Believe?

If the $5 billion lifetime figure is the truth, as sworn under oath in federal court, then the annualized revenue figures don’t mean what they are meant to say. “Annualized” at Anthropic may not mean “last month times twelve.” It might mean best week times fifty-two. Or best day times three-sixty-five. Or something else entirely that makes the number as large as possible.

There is one charitable reading. ARR sometimes counts signed contracts with money promised, not money received. Rao’s “revenue to date” likely means recognized revenue, only money actually earned. If Anthropic has billions in contracts where service hasn’t been delivered yet (possible given the huge boost in February), the ARR looks huge while total revenue stays lower.

But if that’s the explanation, Anthropic was reporting unearned contract value to the press as though it were operating revenue, while reporting actual revenue to the court. That’s not an accounting distinction. That’s two different stories tuned for two different audiences.

Either way, the conclusion is the same.

Every headline that reported Anthropic’s annualized revenue as though it indicated actual business scale was wrong. Every valuation model built on those figures was fed inflated inputs. Every investor who used ARR trajectory to justify Anthropic’s $380 billion valuation was working with a disinformation number.

The lemonade stand making $10 in July that told everyone it is a $120-a-year business? Anthropic somehow screwed that reporting up despite regulators, sophisticated investors and the global financial press. Oh, and despite having AI as its core product. Or is it because of AI?

To believe both the ARR headlines and the CFO’s affidavit, you have to believe that Anthropic’s business was essentially non-existent for its first four years and then suddenly processed 85% of its entire lifetime volume in the last 100 days. Wow.

Zitron cleverly asked for proof.

Anthropic math implies flawed integrity. Just like AI.

Yglesias Defends Big Tech Bros Fleecing the Poor: “Let Them Eat Shovels”

Matthew Yglesias runs a Substack called Slow Boring where he routes every problem in American political economy through zoning reform. His latest piece asks why Silicon Valley hasn’t done more for most Americans, and his answer is: not enough apartments near Cupertino.

Facepalm.

Paul Krugman had pointed out that tech generates a negative externality by producing billionaires who corrupt democracy. True.

Yglesias called this “puzzling” and used it to change the subject to housing density.

The problem is that Yglesias doesn’t seem to know the history of the examples he’s citing. Yup, I said it. HISTORY. Pull up a chair because I’m about to open a can of whoop-history on Yglesias.

He invokes Chicago in 1900, Detroit in 1920, the California Gold Rush, and Shenzhen. My God. He pulls all of that to our attention without appearing to notice that every one of these is a well-documented case study in the exact failure mode he’s ignoring.

Imagine being the guy who says Germany 1938 is a great example of how broken windows can fuel the economy.

Yeah, that bad.

The Fabian Society was founded in 1884 specifically because the industrial boomtowns Yglesias romanticizes were producing spectacular wealth for owners and squalor for everyone else. It’s like Krugman was so right that he didn’t even have to use history to know it, but if he had it would have cemented his point even more. Meanwhile Yglesias responds by walking through a minefield of his own examples and stepping on every one.

Here’s what Yglesias says, and what Fabians discovered over a century ago. Like explaining water is wet, I humbly present now, something hopefully obvious.

What Yglesias Says vs. What Fabians Would Say

Dimension Yglesias (Slow Boring) Fabian 1880s Critique
Why hasn’t tech helped most Americans? Housing constraints prevented a megacity from forming around Silicon Valley Private capture of publicly-funded innovation prevented democratic benefit
Proposed mechanism for shared prosperity Build denser housing near tech campuses so service workers can “sell shovels during the gold rush” Graduated taxation, public ownership stakes, municipal enterprise, democratic governance of technology
Role of the state Get out of the way — remove zoning restrictions Capture monopoly rents, fund universal public goods, regulate concentrated power
Who creates value? Tech founders and employees, radiating outward through spending Public universities, government-funded research, workers, infrastructure — tech founders captured value others created
What “the boom” looks like Population growth, construction, rising property values — Shenzhen, 1900s Chicago Rising wages, universal healthcare, public education, democratic workplace governance — postwar Britain
The billionaire question Not addressed — Krugman’s point about political corruption is replaced with a housing supply argument Billionaires are a policy failure. Concentrated wealth is concentrated political power. That’s the point.
Historical model invoked Industrial-era boomtowns (Chicago, Detroit) — workers flocking to capital The very boomtowns that produced child labor, tenement squalor, and Pinkertons — prompting the Fabian movement in the first place
Utopian vision Apartment towers in Marin County (cites Star Trek: Picard) Star Trek’s actual economy: no money, no landlords, replicators are public goods
What’s invisible Ownership. Power. Democratic control. Who decides what gets built and for whom. Nothing, these are the starting questions
Treatment of Krugman’s argument “Puzzling assertion” claim to dismiss the political corruption claim and jazz hands into housing Krugman understated it. The corruption is the business model. It’s not external.
If you force enough Stanford kool-aid into the mix, does it even matter what else exists?

Let me just reiterate that Shenzhen is government-owned land, state-directed investment, and party-controlled development. It’s literally the Fabian model, as the state captured the land value. Yglesias completely inverts reality and cites his error as his evidence for removing zoning restrictions.

Similarly, “selling shovels during the gold rush” is famous precisely because the miners with shovels went broke. It proves Yglesias wrong. Sure, Levi Strauss and Sam Brannan got rich by being smart while hard workers lost everything and died as nobodies. We’re supposed to want that? But the real lesson not to avoid is the abject cruelty, like the man who built the university at the center of Silicon Valley who got rich through government fraud, racism and genocide. That’s some devastatingly real harm Yglesias is romanticizing.

But what do I know. I’m not on Substack.

Obliterated: Joe Kent’s Resignation Destroys Johnson’s Iran Case

Mike Johnson says the Gang of Eight briefings proved Iran posed an imminent threat. Joe Kent, the man whose job was to assess exactly that, says it’s a lie.

Click to enlarge

Johnson is just a regular politician, with no expertise, who receives briefings. Kent is a seasoned expert who ran the National Counterterrorism Center. One of them resigned claiming an act of integrity. The other one spun even more lies into an embarrassing press conference.

Johnson’s exact words:

Iran was building up ballistic missiles at such a rapid pace that we knew that their plan was to fire them upon Americans.

Oh? But Johnson also said the imminent threat was that Iran was “very close to the enrichment of nuclear capability.”

These are two different claims, and he apparently doesn’t know what he’s saying. That’s a clue. One is a military attack. The other is a development program. Johnson can’t tell the difference, and that makes Johnson’s credibility a big problem for America.

Trump Obliteration Trap

Here’s what makes Johnson’s claims literally impossible. Trump declared on June 24, 2025:

It was my great honor to Destroy All Nuclear facilities & capability, and then, STOP THE WAR!

All done. No threat. Pete Hegseth went further, announcing that Iran’s “nuclear ambitions have been obliterated.” The White House published an entire fact sheet titled

Iran’s Nuclear Facilities Have Been Obliterated.

Did Johnson protest then? No. So what was the sudden imminent threat in February 2026?

If Trump destroyed all nuclear capability in June 2025, there can be nothing to be imminent about nine months later. If Iran reconstituted in months what Trump said was permanently destroyed, then Trump lied about obliteration and Johnson covered it up for the better part of a year.

Pick one. There is no third option.

CNN reported in June 2025 that an early intelligence assessment found the strikes did not destroy the core components of Iran’s nuclear program. I mean, we know Trump lies like the sky is blue.

The enriched uranium stockpile was not destroyed. The centrifuges were largely intact. The DIA assessment was that the strikes set Iran back “maybe a few months, tops.” Republican Rep. Michael McCaul, the honorable chairman emeritus of House Foreign Affairs, tried to backpedal as if the plan was “never meant to completely destroy the nuclear facilities.” The White House called CNN’s reporting “flat-out wrong” and called the source a “low-level loser.”

Harsh words for someone who doubted Trump and Johnson, obliterating anyone who dared to say the Iran nuclear threat wasn’t eliminated. They said case closed no doubts allowed.

Now it’s March 2026 and Johnson is citing imminent nuclear threat as justification for a second, larger war. The administration’s own timeline convicted them. They said obliteration. They got degradation. They lied about the difference. And now they need the threat to be imminent again, the very same threat they said they eliminated.

A Tale of Two Americans

Joe Kent Mike Johnson
Role Director, National Counterterrorism Center Speaker of the House
Function Produces and evaluates threat assessments Receives curated briefings from the executive branch
Intelligence access Direct access to raw intelligence product Heard some briefings, read some summaries prepared by those seeking authorization
Professional background Army Special Forces, CIA paramilitary officer, 11 combat deployments Small town lawyer
Risk assessment training Career built on distinguishing real threats from noise None. Nada. Unqualified.
Personal cost of war Wife killed by ISIL suicide bomber in Syria, 2019 Reelection
Claim “Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation” “There was clearly an imminent threat”
What they did about it Resigned Lied

Johnson’s response to Kent is that Kent “wasn’t in those briefings.” This is backwards. Kent didn’t need to be in the briefings. He was upstream of them. The NCTC produces the threat assessments that inform what the Gang of Eight is told. Johnson was briefed by the people who wanted the war. Kent was the person who would know whether the briefing was true.

Four Things Are Not the Same

Johnson collapses the logic of four distinct categories into one because the legal justification for bypassing Congress requires the word “imminent”:

  1. Having enrichment capability is not the same as having a deliverable weapon.
  2. Having a deliverable weapon is not the same as having intent to use it.
  3. Having intent to use it is not the same as imminent attack.

Iran had the first, partially.

It did not have the second, third, or fourth.

The Defense Intelligence Agency’s own May 2025 assessment said Iran could develop a long-range missile capable of reaching the U.S. by 2035, if it chose to pursue one. The Arms Control Association stated in March 2026 that there is “no imminent threat” and Iran is “not close to weaponizing its nuclear material.” In March 2025, the US intelligence community assessed that Iran was “not building a nuclear weapon.” The distance from Tehran to Washington is about 10,000 kilometers. Iran’s top missile range is 2,000 kilometers.

Johnson’s claim is demonstrably false.

A non-expert view, based on a briefing he probably didn’t even understand, that Iran was about to “fire ballistic missiles upon Americans”, does not survive a basic sniff test. Johnson is not assessing risk. He is incapable. He is performing hyperbolic, emotionally-driven, legal drama as a conclusion, so that Trump doesn’t have to go to Congress and explain their disaster.

Competent Complicity

Kent has issues too, which shine an interesting light on his narrative. He is not a reliable narrator in general because he promoted Trump election conspiracy theories. He had ties to Trump-promoting extreme-right figures. NBC reported that he had pressured intelligence analysts to corrupt their Venezuela assessment so it would match the delusions of Trump. Democrats opposed his confirmation for very good reasons.

Kent’s antisemitic resignation letter erases every other actor. The Saudis, the Gulf states, the domestic defense industry, the neoconservative movement’s own ideological roots, Hegseth’s Christian nationalist militarism, Trump’s own strategic narcissism. It all disappears. Everything becomes Israeli puppet-mastery over a passive America.

And that’s exactly what makes his “line crossed” resignation devastating. He was all in on Trump corruption of intelligence. Even he can’t go further now? This is not a principled critic who was always against the war. This is a loyalist, a Trump-sanctioned appointee, a man who owes his career to this president. That must really bite when he is saying the intelligence does not support Trump. He even framed the letter as an off-ramp for Trump to blame the Jews for everything bad that’s ever happened.

Kent’s letter is nearly identical to Lindbergh’s infamous Des Moines speech in September 1941. Lindbergh named three groups pushing America into war: the British, the Roosevelt administration, and “the Jewish race.” Kent names Israeli officials, the American media, and “Israel’s powerful American lobby.” Same smell different slime. Foreign power manipulates domestic media to deceive a well-meaning leader into a war against the national interest.

America First wasn’t just a slogan adopted from the KKK. It was an organization with antisemitism baked in from the start. Kent isn’t departing from the tradition. He’s completing it, resigning for it.

When the true believer breaks ranks, the institutional lie becomes visible.

Johnson, all that being said, is too ignorant to know how far from reality he floats. He is performing because he isn’t able to be professional. He is a puppet, playing congressional leader, whose constitutional role is oversight. He is using his access to classified briefings as a credential to shut down the person whose professional function was to evaluate whether the briefing was accurate. That’s not oversight. That’s an integrity breach of government, amplification of disinformation.

The administration said obliteration. The intelligence said degradation. The NCTC director said no imminent threat. The Speaker of the House said trust me I’m a small town lawyer with no expertise and a closet full of skeletons.

We have seen this film before. The last time the word “imminent” did this much legal work, Colin Powell was holding a vial at the United Nations.

Face it, there’s nothing heroic or worthy left about this war in Iraq. It’s just a pile of lies. Unless you support lies, the only thing you’re supporting by supporting the war now is Bush.

Haw Haw Hegseth of Iran: How Nazis Praised the Desert Rats Into Victory

A “water rat” in German (Wasserratte) is someone who swims extremely well. Think of it like “book worm”. A “book rat” (Leseratte) is someone very proficient at reading. The compound logic is simple: an animal plus an environment equals command. It belongs there.

A “desert rat” (Wüstenratte), following the same grammar, is something in command of a wasteland. The more you bomb them the better they thrive.

The Tobruk Problem

Britain in 1941 had a weak, conciliatory commander in North Africa. After pushing the Italians out of the Libyan port of Tobruk the resulting apathy allowed Rommel’s Afrika Korps to reclaim it. A garrison of Allies who refused to give it up, approximately 14,000 Australians of the 9th Division, along with British, Indian, and Polish troops, dug themselves into underground positions. Rommel couldn’t budge them, as they held for eight months.

William Joyce, broadcasting Nazi propaganda from Hamburg, Germany under the name “Lord Haw-Haw,” described them thus:

Poor desert rats of Tobruk, who live like rats and will die like rats.

Joyce clearly, calling people rats, was not German. He was born in America, raised in Ireland, and held a first-class honours degree in English literature from the University of London. Goebbels hired the Irishman to be fluent in English. In English, to Joyce, calling someone a “rat” was meant to convey filth, cowardice, treachery. To the Nazis, hearing the Allied forces were to be known as Tobruk rats, their own propaganda signaled a foe of great competence and command.

Joyce foolishly had peddled English “rat” to mean an insult, but facts on the ground kept delivering the German meaning of the word instead to the Germans. Everything he described about Allied troops burrowing, surviving bombardment, refusing to leave, outlasting the siege was all proving to be competence. The nouns insulted. The verbs complimented. The garrison struck medals celebrating the rat, cast from the aluminium of a downed German bomber, and tuned in nightly for more.

Tobruk rat medals were said to have been made by the Australian diggers from scrap metal of Nazi planes they shot down.

One defender recalled that Lord Haw-Haw broadcasts “never failed to cheer us”, opposite to what Goebbels expected.

Lord Haw Haw, the Irishman who gladly served Hitler

Every broadcast confirming they were still there was an advertisement that Rommel couldn’t fight, the Afrika Korps could not take the port. Nobody in the German propaganda ministry apparently caught the problem. Their translation of propaganda was becoming notoriously “witzig”.

Indian troops in the Egyptian desert get a laugh from one of the leaflets which Field Marshal Erwin Rommel has taken to dropping behind the British lines now that his ground attacks have failed. The leaflet, which of course are strongly anti-British in tone, are printed in Hindustani, but are too crude to be effective. (Photo was flashed to New York from Cairo by radio. Credit: ACME Radio Photo)

Nazis had found an Irishman happy to be their native English speaker precisely so they would not have to think how the words landed. Consider Joyce much like an AI agent today. Nazis inherently are so clumsy and didactic they aren’t going to know how to generate useful, nuanced results.

Joyce took a German compliment, translated it into English contempt, and the compliment kept showing through because it fit the ground truth of adaptation, persistence, mastery of a hostile environment. And he never knew, just like how an AI agent is always in “hallucination” mode.

The Australian War Memorial notes that Joyce’s insults “were often turned into badges of honour.”

Propaganda leaflets dropped by Nazis on Australian troops were comical at best, and helped Montgomery boost morale against Rommel.

The standard account explains this as defiant reclamation where soldiers seized an enemy’s slur to wear it proudly. That is the English-language reading that gives Joyce’s mistake far too much undeserved credit instead of ridicule. The German-language reading is clearer: there was nothing to reclaim. The German propaganda produced praise when it attempted to insult. Joyce was a stage clown who couldn’t stop hallucinating, and deserves to be called out for it.

Advice from Walt Disney on the appropriate reaction to Nazis

The Pentagon Podium, March 2026

Fast forward to the modern day Haw Haw, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. Last Friday he told reporters that U.S. forces in Iran would proceed with “no quarter, no mercy for our enemies.”

“No quarter” has a specific meaning in military law, and it’s not a good one for Hegseth. It means kill those who surrender. The Hague Convention prohibits it. The Geneva Conventions prohibit it. The Pentagon’s own law of war manual prohibits it. The Nuremberg tribunals prosecuted German officers for it.

Senator Mark Kelly, a retired Navy captain, translated for anyone who missed it:

An order to give no quarter would mean to take no prisoners and kill them instead.

Hegseth perhaps thought he was going to communicate resolve by acting like he is a Confederate General who can order prisoners to be tortured and killed. Does he think this is 1865 and the southern states won? He produced instead, on the record, a war crime platform. A statement that the Pentagon’s own legal framework classifies as a war crime. The audience he intended to reach sits among the war crimes prosecutors, allied governments weighing coalition support, and Iranian propagandists looking for recruitment material. They all heard the same Haw Haw.

The same day, Hegseth described Iran’s military as “destroyed” and its attacks on shipping in the Strait of Hormuz as “sheer desperation.” At the time of this statement, the strait was functionally closed to commercial traffic, global energy prices had spiked, the U.S. Navy still refused to provide armed escort to tankers, and 13 American service members were dead. Iran’s capacity to close the world’s most important oil transit route is the asymmetric capability its military was built around. It is the opposite of desperation. It is the plan working.

Hegseth called it desperation for the same reason Joyce called the Tobruk garrison rats.

The framework is meant to show contempt. However that contempt cannot process evidence of enemy competence, even when the propagandist is the one presenting it. “Destroyed” is English framing about a closed strait that has a very different ground truth. And if there’s one thing I learned in forty years of working with disinformation history, ground truth matters a LOT more than spin doctors realize.

Source: Me on Twitter, 2016

At an earlier briefing, Hegseth addressed reporters about American casualties:

When a few drones get through or tragic things happen, it’s front-page news. I get it, the press only wants to make the president look bad.

Six soldiers had been killed in Kuwait by a drone that struck a shipping container serving as an operations center. “A few drones get through” is a description of a force protection failure, command failure, delivered in the register of a complaint about media coverage.

The Pentagon has also been releasing propaganda videos set to music, missile strikes intercut with video game footage, produced in the idiom of social media content. The White House communications director responded to criticism of one video by posting a Grand Theft Auto cheat code for unlimited ammunition. In the videos, every missile hits. There are no American casualties. There is no closed strait.

There is no girls’ elementary school in Minab where at least 165 children were killed in a school America double-tap (war crime) bombed on the first day.

Joyce broadcast every night to a garrison he said was doomed, the end, and yet every broadcast served to confirm they were alive. The Pentagon releases daily videos of a war it says is won, over and done any minute, and every video confirms the need to keep persuading people it is still winning, and maybe needs help.

The Grammar

Joyce’s problem was simple. The traitor needed the English meaning of “rat” to produce contempt, but the garrison’s behavior matched the German Wüstenratte, not vermin, psychologically having the exact reverse effect on soldiers in the fight. The insult misfired at the level of language itself.

Hegseth’s problem is structural as well as linguistic, and the mechanism is identical. “No quarter” in his register means strength. In the legal framework he is bound by, it means weakness because a prosecutable offence. “Destroyed” in his register means victory. On the operational map, it means the opposite, an enemy whose most effective threat of waterway disruption is functioning. “Desperation” in his register means weakness. In strategic terms, it means an adversary executing the doctrine it was designed around.

Each statement delivers two messages simultaneously. Hegseth thinks there is only one. The people that matter most probably hear both if not just the other.

Joyce was hanged for treason in January 1946. His broadcasts had, by the assessment of the Imperial War Museum, minimal impact on Allied morale. The insults were adopted as honours. The nightly confirmation of a garrison standing became the proof of its own endurance.

The question with Hegseth is not whether his primitive Goebbels-like propaganda errors will fail. Propaganda built on contempt for an enemy who is performing competently always fails. The question is what it costs America before it does. And will he be hanged for it.

What he said Who What he meant What he actually described
“Poor rats caught in a trap” Joyce You are vermin and will die Garrison adapting and holding
“Live like rats, die like rats” Joyce Subhuman conditions, imminent collapse Mastery of hostile environment
Nightly broadcasts to the garrison Joyce You are doomed Garrison still standing
“No quarter, no mercy” Hegseth We are strong and will win A war crime under the Hague Convention
“Their military is destroyed” Hegseth Victory is achieved Enemy closing the Strait of Hormuz
“Sheer desperation” Hegseth Enemy is collapsing Enemy executing its core strategy
“A few drones get through” Hegseth Press exaggerating minor setbacks Six soldiers dead in Kuwait
“Boom Boom” videos, daily briefings Hegseth We already won, wait no, we are winning We need help
Enemy response Joyce Adopted insults into badges of honour
Enemy response Hegseth TBD
Outcome Joyce Garrison held. Joyce hanged.
Outcome Hegseth TBD

Stephen Colbert also has exposed Haw Haw Hegseth errors using simple humor: