Category Archives: Poetry

Stop. Look. Listen in America

The BBC has a hilarious guide to American culture by Kevin Connolly

He points out that America may be rife with religious and violent zealots

To Europeans, for example, a gun is a weapon, pure and simple.

To many, but not all Americans, it is a badge of independence, and self-reliance – the tool of the engaged citizen who does not think that either the criminal, or the forces of the state, should have a monopoly on deadly force.

There is a great deal of irony in his dichotomy. Americans portray their terrorist enemy as a religious and violent zealot; the irony really comes out in the next paragraph.

Show [Europeans] a gun, and we picture a muscular ne’er-do-well in a balaclava menacing an elderly sub-postmistress.

An American is more likely to visualise a plucky homesteader crouching between an overturned sofa in a burning ranch house, preparing to defend his family to the death.

…unless you ask an American to describe a terrorist who must be disarmed, and then they will visualize a plucky homesteader crouching between an overturned sofa in burning ranch house, wearing a balaclava, like this guy:

In terms of religion, this section is spot-on:

If anything, over time, it is getting more religious rather than less. The motto In God We Trust was not added to American banknotes until the 1950s, for example.

Americans tied themselves in knots two years ago agonising over whether a black man, or a white woman could yet be elected president.

But here is a safe prediction. It will be a very long time before an atheist or agnostic gets anywhere near the White House.

A stark contrast with Europe where the opposite is increasingly the case.

A comedian recently pointed out that India has only been a democracy for about fifty years, and yet it has elected multiple religions, races and several women to their highest office without controversy. America’s democracy is past 200 years old but still struggles with acceptance of leaders from different races, religion and gender.

The report is not all critical, however. I also enjoyed his commentary on American security language.

…the daily American way with language is touched with brilliance, taut and crackling with life.

My favourite example is the simplest, the old railroad crossing sign that simply says: Stop. Look. Listen.

Impossible to shorten or clarify, it was written by an engineer for a country of new immigrants with limited English. It is not long, but it is still in use today, a rare example of perfect writing.

I look forward to the day America updates its 50s McCarthy-ist propaganda text of “In God We Trust”, which has been wildly successful, with something less ironic. It sounds like “Stop. Look. Listen” would be an excellent candidate.

Oysters

by Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

Charming oysters I cry:
My masters, come buy,
So plump and so fresh,
So sweet is their flesh,
No Colchester oyster
Is sweeter and moister:
Your stomach they settle,
And rouse up your mettle:
They’ll make you a dad
Of a lass or a lad;
And madam your wife
They’ll please to the life;
Be she barren, be she old,
Be she slut, or be she scold,
Eat my oysters, and lie near her,
She’ll be fruitful, never fear her.

and by John Gay (1685-1732)

The man had a sure palate cover’d o’er
With brass or steel, that on the rocky shore
First broke the oozy oyster’s pearly coat
And risqu’d the living morsel down his throat

Display Botnets with Google Maps

I was testing my French a bit by following the instructions of Cartographier un botnet via GoogleMaps, found on the Orange Business Services le blog Sécurité.

Most of it is fairly straightforward. The goal is to convert IPs to a geographic chart, handy for my upcoming presentations. It should look something like this:

I had a little trouble with a few phrases, like here:

Script de géolocalisation et génération d’un fichier XML en sortie
Maintenant ça ne rigole plus : On rentre dans le cœur du sujet. Le script python va tout d’abord ouvrir le fichier texte contenant les adresses IP et va créer une table avec toutes les adresses IP, en prenant soin d’enlever celles qui sont éventuellement en double.

“Now the laughing ends : as we get to the heart of things”? Not sure I have that right, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. The technical details are clear enough. And after a while, it felt like I was catching on; it started to look just like English.

A vous de vous débrouiller sur ce coup là. Perso, sous un Linux Ubuntu c’était “finger in the noze”.

Oh, that IS English.

Sometimes when I use Ubuntu, it’s like finger in the nose. Yes, I know exactly what they mean. Apple’s OSX is more like finger in the eye and Windows…well, let’s just not talk about that, especially in French.