Category Archives: Poetry

Brandy

May 31, 2007 Davi Ottenheimer 1 Comment

Reflections on identity, as recorded by Looking Glass

There’s a port on a western bay
And it serves a hundred ships a day
Lonely sailors pass the time away
And talk about their homes

And there’s a girl, in this harbor town
And she works, laying whiskey down
They say “Brandy, fetch another round”
She serves them whiskey and wine

The sailors say “Brandy, you’re a fine girl
What a good wife you would be
Yeah your eyes could steal a sailor
From the sea.”

Brandy, wears a braided chain
Made of finest silver from the north of Spain
A locket, that bears the name
Of a man that Brandy loved

He came, on a summer’s day
Bringing gifts, from far away
But he made it clear, he couldn’t stay
No harbor was his home

The sailors said “Brandy, you’re a fine girl
What a good wife you would be
But my life, my lover, my lady
Is the sea.”

Yeah Brandy used to watch his eyes when he told his sailor’s story
She could feel the ocean fall and rise, she saw it’s raging glory
But he had always told the truth, Lord he was an honest man
And Brandy does her best to understand

At night, when the bars close down
Brandy walks through a silent town
And loves a man, who’s not around
She still can hear him say, she hears him say

“Brandy, you’re a fine girl
What a good wife you would be
But my life, my lover, my lady
Is the sea”

Is Brandy married, or not?

History, Poetry, Security

More Proof Microsoft is Run by Monkeys

May 30, 2007 Davi Ottenheimer Leave a comment

No, I am not talking about the video of Steve Ballmer doing the monkey dance — showing his dislike of creationism.

And I also am not talking about the theory that Shakespeare’s work could be replicated if you put enough monkeys on keyboards.

I am talking about the simple fact that if you are asked to secure a network environment, you will inevitably end up facing a Microsoft system setup to be a primary source of authentication, yet at great risk from attackers. You want to help, but every security expert knows Microsoft is a mess to work around.

It’s like being asked by a king to secure a castle after his keep was built with open doors at the top of stairs that terminate all over the place, often outside the perimeter walls. Imagine having to say “This design allows the village idiot to walk right into your bedroom and sleep with the queen. You didn’t know you were paying for that?”

Companies have to pay a hefty fee to make it safe after the fact, and in some cases the only way to make it safe it to tear it out and replace it. Can you believe Windows 98 was even allowed to be put on the market?

“Cheep, cheep” comes to mind.

Could monkeys stand in for Shakespeare? Interesting question, but perhaps more interesting is why people think it is fine for monkeys to manage software products.

Maybe Eliza Griswold’s Monkey poem explains this somehow:

Last week, the children ate his motherâ€”

dashed her head against the breadfruit.

A young girl soldier laughs,

tears the baby from my leg

and hurls him toward the tree.

Corporate politics? Primitive product testing?

Poetry