Italy and the Mafia

by Alan Coren

Italy is boot-shaped, for reasons lost in the mists of geology. The South is essentially agricultural, and administered by local land authorities, called the Mafia; the North is industrial, and run by tightly interlocked corporations, called the Mafia. The largest Italian city is New York, and is linked to the mainland by a highly specialized and efficient communications system, called the Mafia

Here he is on Democracy:

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.

A nice explanation of the economy in the Netherlands:

Apart from cheese and tulips, the main product of the country is advocaat, a drink made from lawyers.

He even tried to explain Swiss exports:

Since Switzerland has nothing else to identify it and since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something to remember it by.

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