DARPA cat-brain project

The Register has a hilarious take on the project:

US military attempts to develop “programmable neuromorphic” electronic artificial mouse- and cat-bonce brain podules have now moved into gear, with IBM scooping a $5m contract award.

One need hardly specify that the Pentagon office overseeing the Tom’n’Jerryputer push is DARPA, that reassuring rock of madness in an often tediously mundane techno world. The bonkers bad-boy battle boffins of DARPA eat breakfast every day at the Unfeasible Diner, frequently lunch at the Quite Possibly Unnecessary Hotel, occasionally take their aperitifs at the Unforeseen Consequences Saloon – and now and then get thrown out of the Step Too Far Club late at night.

I think it would be the Tom-puter. No Jerry.

And now for the obligatory icanhascheezburger image, here’s what human engineers might create with their cat-brain project:

cat
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US Army Starts Domestic Tours

The Army Times explains that “homeland tours” for US Army Brigade Combat Teams (BCT) started October 1st:

The 1st BCT’s soldiers also will learn how to use “the first ever nonlethal package that the Army has fielded,” 1st BCT commander Col. Roger Cloutier said, referring to crowd and traffic control equipment and nonlethal weapons designed to subdue unruly or dangerous individuals without killing them.

The package is for use only in war-zone operations, not for any domestic purpose.

I confess I am getting very confused by these stories of Army soldiers who are trained “only” for war-zone operations with nonlethal packages as they start a domestic tour. Sounds like a giant contradiction, or at least a loophole in logic.

“It’s a new modular package of nonlethal capabilities that they’re fielding. They’ve been using pieces of it in Iraq, but this is the first time that these modules were consolidated and this package fielded, and because of this mission we’re undertaking we were the first to get it.”

The package includes equipment to stand up a hasty road block; spike strips for slowing, stopping or controlling traffic; shields and batons; and, beanbag bullets.

Maybe you see what I mean. Nonlethal devices being developed for the Army, who already are doing police work in other countries, and given to them first because they are now on a domestic tour. Traffic control? Surely someone could develop a more resilient, mobile and independent traffic control system that does not require the US Army to intervene, no? That sounds like a far better investment than Tazers that can be fired from shotguns.

The brigade will not change its name, but the force will be known for the next year as a CBRNE Consequence Management Response Force, or CCMRF (pronounced “sea-smurf”).

“I can’t think of a more noble mission than this,” said Cloutier, who took command in July. “We’ve been all over the world during this time of conflict, but now our mission is to take care of citizens at home … and depending on where an event occurred, you’re going home to take care of your home town, your loved ones.”

Uh, that doesn’t sound right to me. Are we supposed to wave our hands and welcome the US Army to a “noble mission” on domestic soil — taking care of citizens at home, while packing a new modular package of nonlethal capabilities? Will they be dressed like smurfs too?

Denver Gorilla Run

I really wanted to participate in the Denver Gorilla Run this year:

The Denver Gorilla Run is a charity fun run with a difference. Everyone who takes part wears a full gorilla costume – from fluffy head to furry toe – and helps raise funds for the Mountain Gorilla Conservation Fund, the international charity working to save the world’s last remaining mountain gorillas and keeping Dian Fossey’s dream alive for the past 23 years.

Although this is for a good cause, I wonder if the police see an increase in gorilla-disguised criminals around this time of year.