Zen Sarcasm

Not sure where these came from, but I found them amusing:

1. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt.

2. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to read your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

3. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted

4. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it may have been worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember why or when.

12. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.

13. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

14. There are two theories to arguing. Neither wins.

15. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

There could be more about the importance of nothingness, or the lessons from passive versus active involvement, but at least it is funny.

Number 13, for example, could be taken to mean that a closed mouth is best because there is less risk. However, this seems counter to many Zen sayings that laud open spaces for their utility, and do not try to fight against the risks of utility.

Tao Te Ching #11, as translated by Charles Muller, gives a fine example:

Thirty spokes join together in the hub.
It is because of what is not there that the cart is useful.
Clay is formed into a vessel.
It is because of its emptiness that the vessel is useful.
Cut doors and windows to make a room.
It is because of its emptiness that the room is useful.
Therefore, what is present is used for profit.

But it is in absence that there is usefulness.

An absence of speech versus a closed mouth. Very different images to me. Both could lead to less interference and therefore an opening of the mind. So a closed mouth might make sense, but it is not the best representation for openness. I guess that is what makes the above a Zen Sarcasm list.

Car-2-Car System Risks

I stepped out of my home the other day and saw a man laying on the ground, his new scooter a few feet away on the ground leaking oil. A small crowd had gathered around him as he described his injuries and what had happened. “A woman in a car just swerved from the far right over to the left and hit me” he said as he nursed his left shoulder and minded a scrape to his ankle. The armored jacket and helmet had clearly helped avoid further injury. He should have been wearing boots.

It seemed highly plausible that someone trying to make a last-minute left turn had decided it would make sense to abruptly cross three lanes without signaling and did not see a scooter coming. She might not have even looked at all and thought she could react in time if something appeared. After she hit the man, she apparently told a pedestrian she was going to park and then come back. Of course she never returned.

I immediately thought a vehicle sensor system could have saved this man and his scooter from injury, and perhaps even given him the identification information of the driver who swerved.

On the flip side, what if the car had some kind of positioning radar that showed another moving object within close proximity and therefore gave a warning siren when the driver tried to steer towards it? This is the same basic system as people now have in their rear bumper for backing up in tight spaces, but would be based on more sophisticated in-flight sensors.

The downside to a system like this, I simply couldn’t avoid, would be all the regular privacy concerns. In particular, should the system capture VIN and/or plate information? That would be useful in a hit-and-run scenario. Both of these could hardly be called secret information, but the ability to collect them remotely and compile them raises the risk to our privacy to a whole new level. Credit card security uses this line of reasoning; a person swiping a single card at a time is not a primary concern for data security standards, but a system that reads cards and stores the information is high risk.

I left the scene after helping move the scooter to a safe spot (it had toppled in the middle of a lane) and ensuring that the injured man was in good hands (rescue squad just pulling up).

Now I come to find out that something very similar to what I was thinking is already underway around the world:

The near-collision warning is a demonstration of technology that is expected to be rolled out to all shapes and sizes of cars in the coming years.

It is being developed by the European Car-2-Car consortium and is backed by General Motors, Audi, BMW, Fiat, Honda, Renault and a range of in-car hardware manufacturers and several universities.

The security implications of the system are absolutely stunning:

GPS tracks the position of the car while sensor data from the car – such as speed, direction, road conditions and if the windscreen wipers are on and if the brakes have been stamped on – is monitored by the on-board computer.

A wireless system similar to existing wi-fi technology – based on the 802.11p protocol – transmits and receives data to and from nearby cars, creating an ad-hoc network.

Data hops from car to car and the on-board computers can build a picture of road and traffic conditions based on information from multiple vehicles across a great distance.

Cars travelling in opposite directions can share information about where they have been and so informing each other about where they are going.

Wouldn’t you like to share all that information with a car nearby, especially someone you are trying to get away from? What about spoofed data or non-repudiation? How will this system handle people running secondary boxes to fool nearby drivers?

They say the system will rely on multiple signals, as though from multiple vehicles, but what is to stop someone from running five boxes themselves to get motorists to slow down (e.g. a cranky neighbor who wants cars in to slow while passing by)?

I suspect there will have to be a certificate system at the core of this and that begs the question of who will become the authority to all these devices? The government? Does that make them also the master repository of the information? Driving is said to be a privilege, not a right, so will someone make the case that it is ok to trace and trap the whereabouts of every vehicle at all times? Will code violations and fines be issued based on this system?

Professor Horst Wieker, from the department of telecommunications at the University of Applied Sciences, Saarbruck, said the aim was to create “foresighted driving”.

He said: “This technology allows us to build a short-range and long-range picture of road traffic conditions.

Further research brought me to a similar approach in 2004 at the University of Rutgers.

The intent sounds fine, except for the fact that there is no mention of the security implications of collecting this kind of information. Drivers tend to use and dispose of information immediately. No one at the scene of the accident could remember more than a few letters of the license plate from the car involved. Technology could certainly help, but at what level of new risk? Are people adequately assessing the security trade-offs of data generated by a peer-to-peer system? It does not appear so. I suspect the automobile manufacturers working on this do not have a strong consumer information privacy group or advocate in house. Time to propose another lower-risk way to assess traffic conditions?

Singapore seems to have a different approach that is already working, but they also apparently based their system upon reducing the environmental and economic impact of gridlock and accidents.

The Pig

by Roald Dahl

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn’t read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn’t puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, “By gum, I’ve got the answer!”
“They want my bacon slice by slice
“To sell at a tremendous price!
“They want my tender juicy chops
“To put in all the butcher’s shops!
“They want my pork to make a roast
“And that’s the part’ll cost the most!
“They want my sausages in strings!
“They even want my chitterlings!
“The butcher’s shop! The carving knife!
“That is the reason for my life!”
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let’s not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
“I had a fairly powerful hunch
“That he might have me for his lunch.
“And so, because I feared the worst,
“I thought I’d better eat him first. “

The pig clearly thought negotiation of terms, or finding common values, was out of the question.

Testing the One Child Rule

China’s rule for couples was to have only one child or face a financial penalty. This meant couples with more money could treat the law as a tax and simply pay their way to a larger family. That seems like an expected outcome. However, I just read the news about a more drastic evasive technique:

Some of the breaches of the one-child policy only came to light during corruption investigations.

One legislator had four children by four different mistresses.

The official Xinhua news agency said some officials had not been adequately punished for their birth-control crimes.

It argued that this failure to enforce the law within its own ranks had led to the decrease in the government’s ability to enforce its birth-control policy.

Step one, attain an official position. This is similar to the Bush administration’s philosophy of rule. Once in office, some leaders clearly think they rise above the law. For example, Bush sent out a clear “click-it or ticket” warning to all motorists, and then drove around in front of reporters without his seatbelt on. Minor nit, but it makes the point nicely. There are dozens of examples, all of which say Bush and his cabal would probably go out of their way to have many more children if a law was passed in America that forbid large families.

Step two, closely examine the terms of the regulation. Does an official with four mistresses count as four couples, each entitled to a single child, or is there a patriarchal subtext — a man can only have one offspring? Here too the Bush administration has shown it uses highly creative interpretations. Cheney might say he is in the executive branch when he wants its protection, but that he is not in the executive branch when he want to avoid its regulations. Clever fellow, some might say in the US, as the Bush games come to light and are argued out in public.

China says they are holding “corruption investigations”. In America…?