The Chaos

by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité
(Netherlands, 1870-1946)

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation — think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough —
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Originally transcribed by Pete Zakel .

Facebook to Replace Churches… With Surveillance

In January of 2017 Facebook announced a “pledge” to visit 50 states of America in person “to learn how people live“.

It sounds like an unintentional self-own — a thorough condemnation of Facebook — by saying software doesn’t work at all and physical contact is the best way to learn.

In other words a social behavior platform is so utterly disconnected from reality of how people live its CEO has to announce a better way is to visit people in order to learn from them?

It doesn’t make sense at all because… it’s a lie.

Facebook’s CEO wasn’t really taking a step outside his high-security anti-social guarded compound to visit actual people to understand real social behavior.

Nope.

He was clumsily hinting at a plan to conquer and displace leadership in a new target/expansion area: Replace Church (e.g. use centralized tactics to draw people away from their local faith and community and towards worship/like of Facebook-controlled groups instead).

A local community-based faith in God is seen as competition by the CEO of Facebook, who since his Harvard student days has openly sought ways to manipulate the public into giving him control over their “likes”.

There was foreshadowing, to be fair, from the sort of enlightened place you may expect.

Howard University pulled the alarm way back in 2011, when Ronald Hopson (associate professor of psychology and divinity) signaled “Facebook Can’t Replace Church”.

As long as we are sentient beings, we will require direct contact as a principal mode of interaction. […] Electronic bits may prove inadequate to convey the same rich experience of encounter. Ultimately, virtual gatherings will not be enough.

Ok now fast-forward from that early 2017 “pledge” and notice headlines from local religious leaders reflecting on the awkward in-person visit from Facebook’s leader.

Zuckerberg himself started admitting Churches were foremost on his chopping-block, using extremely ignorant and tone-deaf logic to boot.

“A church doesn’t just come together by itself,” Zuckerberg said. “It has a pastor who looks out for the well-being of the congregation. And if someone hits hard times, they’re in charge of making sure that people have the food and shelter they need. A Little League team has a coach who motivates the kids and helps teach them how to hit better. Leaders set the culture, they inspire us, they motivate us, they give us a safety net and they take care of us.” Zuckerberg said Facebook’s artificial intelligence algorithm can power the website to more effectively organize online communities…

I could probably write a whole book about why the Facebook CEO is so egregiously wrong (and technically I am), but let me just point out some high-level failures that make him sound so evil:

  1. A church absolutely can form BY ITSELF and not owe itself to one individual. I can’t believe I have to say this. The definition of church is literally a gathering of people who share faith, almost like an instinct to get together for safety. So right off the bat the Facebook argument is a bunch of self-serving disinformation.
  2. The etymology of “pastor” (considered a leader in some Protestant Churches, not to be confused with Al Pastor) is someone who cares for a flock of sheep. Do sheep flock if they don’t have a pastor? Duh. Of course they do. “Sheep have a strong flocking instinct. They feel safer when gathered together.”
  3. More importantly, if a flock has a leader what would disrupt this status? I mean can a pastor be “unholy” for example? NO, by definition a pastor must be selfless and devoted to service a greater good. (e.g. Facebook could NEVER take the role of a pastor because by definition they are entirely selfish). The true pastor keeps patience while blameless (remains holy), whereas Facebook tells everyone to “fail faster” and act irresponsibly (sins excessively) — two literal opposite ends in morality.
  4. From there you hopefully can see the giant misstep in Zuckerberg saying “they’re in charge of making sure that people have the food and shelter they need” as if a pastor is supposed to control “needs” from his bank account with special contractors on speed-dial to build compounds… as if some kind of Koresh cult.
  5. Indeed, notice how the list of “leader” qualities has things like “set the culture” and “take care of us”. Instead of the normal “teach a man to fish” line that most real leaders would recognize, this is like reading evil leadership tips like “if you give a man a fish you can inspire and motivate him to do what you want”.

This is on top of the fact that Zuckerberg equates a decline in Church membership to a lack of “sense of purpose and community”.

That’s just wrong. So wrong.

Consider for example that his own point — people leaving Church find a new sense of purpose and community elsewhere — completely contradicts himself.

If people leaving Church are the same thing as people having no sense of purpose and community, then Facebook can’t be the answer!

So I really don’t see all that much difference between Zuckerberg’s claim that he has a limited understanding how people really live, and his desire to be their “leader” by telling them how to live by falsely claiming to have a safety net in mind (while in fact trying to become a monopoly, like a cult they can’t escape from).

Zuckerberg has built little more than a big greed machine ignorant of history. Dostoyevsky wrote about this over 100 years ago in Brothers Karamazov, as Tweeted recently by Tom Simonite:

Some claim that the world is gradually becoming united, that it will grow into a brotherly community as distances shrink and ideas are transmitted through the air. Alas, you must not believe that men can be united in this way. To consider freedom as directly dependent on the number of man’s requirements and the extent of their immediate satisfaction shows a twisted understanding of human nature, for such an interpretation only breeds in men a multitude of senseless, stupid desires and habits and endless preposterous inventions. People are more and more moved by envy now, by the desire to satisfy their material greed and by vanity.

Oh, and in terms of leaders “taking care” of their flock when big data is involved?

Federal Bureau of Investigation files show that just over a year after L. Ron Hubbard created the the Hubbard Dianetic Research Foundation, a precursor to the Church of Scientology, he offered to become an informant for the Bureau, and provide the FBI with a list of its members and copies of their fingerprints.

Think in terms of Zuckerberg rushing in to attract people leaving Churches in the same way as Hubbard built his empire of weird cult behavior; create slavish fealty for profit while selling-out adherents on a constant surveillance platform.

The “learn how people live” operation from Facebook seems based on far more sinister intent than people realize. It will be unfortunate for anyone who really allows this CEO into their lives.

2017 BSidesLV: Hidden Hot Battle Lessons of Cold War

My presentation on machine learning security opened the Ground Truth track at the 2017 BSidesLV conference:

When: Tuesday, July 25, 11:00 – 11:30
Where: Tuscany, Las Vegas
Cost: Free (as always!)
Event Link: Hidden Hot Battle Lessons of Cold War: All Learning Models Have Flaws, Some Have Casualties

In a pursuit of realistic expectations for learning models can we better prepare for adversarial environments by examining failures in the field?

All models have flaws, given any usual menu of problems with learning; it is the rapidly increasing risk of a catastrophic-level failure that is making data /robustness/ a far more immediate concern.

This talk pulls forward surprising and obscured learning errors during the Cold War to give context to modern machine learning successes and how things quickly may fall apart in evolving domains with cyber conflict.

Copy of Presentation Slides: 2017BSidesLV.daviottenheimer.pdf (4 MB)

Full Presentation Video:

Prior BSides Presentations

The Real-life Wonder Woman: Miss Nieves Fernandez

Just 10 hours after the Pearl Harbor bombing of 7 December 1941, Japanese invaded the Philippines and ran into Captain Nieves Fernandez.

…she used her long knife to silently kill Japanese soldiers during the occupation of Leyte Island…. She commanded 110 native who killed more than 200 Japanese with knifes and shotguns made from sections of gas pipe.

Have you heard of her before? Did you realize she was the inspiration for the Wonder Woman comic book character?

As one American soldier in 1944 explained, after Captain Fernandez demonstrated her technique on him, she impressed easily…

I will now never be surprised again when a qixiannü (a Chinese goddess) tears apart a Japanese soldier barehanded

Source: Rare Historical Photos, Captain Nieves Fernandez shows to an American soldier how she used her long knife to silently kill Japanese soldiers during occupation, 1944.

The American propaganda machine in 1941 was well aware that the promotion of successful and strong women was essential to winning the war against fascism.

The question really becomes whether Americans could admit to taking the story of Fernandez on Leyte island to create a comic-book version of her, given such lethal and effective reputation of a Woman fighting against the enemy of America.

I believe the answer to be an easy and definite yes. The Japanese military certainly did their part to spread news about this woman’s outsized actions, as it was causing them all kinds of trouble, and Americans turned that news into an iconic image of female heroism.

This deceptively idyllic island turned notoriously dangerous for the invading Japanese troops due to… Fernandez.

Why would the Japanese amplify her story widely? They thought it would help stop her, by putting a massive bounty on her head.

Source: The Lewiston Daily Sun – Nov 3, 1944: “School-Ma’am Led Guerrillas on Leyte”

Again, just to emphasize what an average view of Tacloban, Leyte looks like relative to the “origin” story of the comic book character:

Source: Internet search for Tacloban, Leyte

Perhaps it should be no surprise then, given how US intelligence was picking up Japanese bemoaning a “wonder woman” in Leyte, that Americans started saying things like the “best way to fend off critics would be to create a female superhero”.

A fictional origin story of Wonder Woman comic generated its first cover in January 1942 (a month after Pearl Harbor as US propaganda went into overdrive).

Sadly and without explanation, not only was Fernandez never credited, a Harvard psychologist named Dr. William Moulton Marston was instead credited and he made her a “Greek Amazon” white woman from Paradise Island.


Update September 2020:

In a weird twist to the above real history a new film Wonder Woman 1984 has the American heroine battle an evil villain based on a real-life American con-man whose name rhymes with cancerous-lump:

Enter Maxwell Lord, a self-made mogul-slash-guru played as a sort of insidious mix of ’80s icons…. “Max is a dream-seller…. It’s this character who encompasses a component of the era which is, you know, ‘Get whatever want, however you can. You’re entitled to it!’ And at any cost, ultimately, which represents a huge part of our culture and this kind of unabashed — it’s greed, It’s f—ing greed, of course. But it’s also about ‘How do you be your best self? How do you win?’ So he’s definitely the face of that version of success.”

Photo: Warner Bros./DC. First introduced in 1987’s Justice League #1 and previously depicted on-screen in Smallville and Supergirl, Lord is generally depicted as a cunning and powerful businessman. In Wonder Woman 1984, he is the president of…a corporation that promises to give the people of America, according to the trailer, “everything [they] always wanted.”

Definitely a missed opportunity to cast Wonder Woman as a someone more like Fernandez who battles the racism and misogyny endemic to fascism, far more relevant and real than this basic corruption and greed narrative.


Update May 2021:

A new book called War and Resistance in the Philippines: 1942-1945, by historian James Kelly Morningstar, gives much more context to the significance of this guerrilla story, even suggesting it “brought down Japan”:

Filipino guerrillas waged a war that denied Japan its strategic goals, altered U.S. grand strategy and helped transform America’s greatest military defeat into Japan’s greatest military disaster. Their fight also laid the foundation for a free and independent nation vital to the post-war order.